Women, hunting and fishing.
Today I went shopping. This may be an activity enjoyed by many women. It is not something I usually enjoy however today I did get a laugh. A kind of “what the hell just happened, am I losing my mind or am I from another planet?” kind of laugh but a laugh nonetheless.
Being a bit of a girl I somewhat timorously entered the male dominated domain of the hunting, fishing, shooting and what ever else blokes get up to dressed up in camo gear, kind of shop. I was looking for waders suitable for short people not shaped like men. In short (pardon the pun) I was looking for some waders to fit a woman.
This year I am determined to do some things I have wanted to have a go at for quite some time. One of these things is skydiving, another is white baiting. I do not need waders to sky dive. If I hadn’t already looked in another shop and been determined to get something that fitted I’d have given up just like I did last time I went looking for women’s waders.
Waders for Women ?
Eventually a bearded bloke, chewing something, approaches and says to me “Do you know what you are doing there?”
Me: “I’d like to look at some waders please. Obviously I am not 6’6”. Do they come in shorter sizes?”
He: Looking me up and down “They come in boot sizes. Generally the smaller the boot the smaller the waders. What size are you?”
Me: “Size 9’ish. 41mm” and thinking “well this will be interesting because I have bumps in places waders for men obviously don’t. It’s a good thing I have big feet”
He: Picks something from teeth, goes away muttering to self, talks to other bloke about something else. Eventually comes back with two pairs of waders.
Me: With toes crammed on ends of boots and folds of neoprene, akin to the skin of a baby elephant, wrinkled around my knees… “what size are these?”
He: “Size 8. They are too long in the leg for you. Try these.”
Me: Rolling eyes in direction of husband “Do you have a size 9? These are way too tight in the boot and too long in the legs”
He: “Oh whoops you don’t want these they are $400.”
Me: (to myself) “I must look cheap”
Husband: well versed in signs of sarcasm about to spring forth “Do you have anything shorter in the legs?”
He: “Well you can get them custom made”
Husband: “So there is nothing else here?”
He: “Well we do have a size 9 in a short leg in those ones” (that I tried in the unrequested size 8)
Me: Waiting, waiting, waiting, expectantly…. “Do you have any in stock?”
Me: “Could I try them please?”
He: “Oh…. just a minute”
Other customer in fishing hat, eyeing up my efforts to extract myself from inside baby elephant skin, probably with a great view of my undies as my leggings were stuck to the neoprene, says to my husband: “Hahahaha you going to put her in the river while you sit on the shore? Hahahaha….”
Me: Trying on short leg size 9 being watched by chewing, bearded one and laughing fishing hatted one. Voila they fit.
He: “Oh do they fit?”
Me: “Yes they do thank you.”
He: “Okay take them to the counter I am going for lunch.”
After collecting my jaw from the floor I turned to my husband and asked “what the hell just happened here?”